We are coming up on the time of year when, at least in my area, the weather
is beautiful. The trees begin to bud, the grass becomes green again, and the
sun shines at last, warming up our dark, cold winter world. When spring comes,
it means that winter has passed. We have survived the long months of cold and
snow, and are now to be rewarded with warmth, sunshine and flowers.
As I wrote
a few weeks ago, this time of year is especially difficult for me, and maybe
for you too, if you suffer with chronic pain. In that recent article, I wrote
about the importance of preparing for these seasons of difficulty. But, no
matter how prepared we are, we are still made of flesh, and feelings of sadness
can still overtake us. This is where I found myself today.
After spending a few days away from home at a conference, I
was very tired. All the regular pains were flared up, along with a few other
aches and issues from sleeping in a different bed, diet changes, and all the
other things that go along with being away from home. All this made me somewhat
weak in fighting the feelings that came upon me Monday morning as my friend
shared about her weekend. “We got lots of yard work done. It felt great to have
the yard looking so good.” The right response to that would go something like
this: “Good for you! That is a great feeling to be all caught up, isn't it?” My
heart response: “Yeah, my yard is a mess, but I can’t do anything about it. I
am jealous of your physical strength and health, and I don’t understand why I
have to be in this condition while you carry on doing everything without
physical pain, and you’re older than I am!”
Another friend couldn't wait to tell me about all the fun she had with her
grand kids, walking the trails and playing at the playground. The right response?
To be happy for her, of course, and glad that she is making such wonderful
memories, both for herself and for them. I mustered up an appropriate response,
but in my heart, I felt jealousy and bitterness. I don’t have grandchildren
yet, but one of my greatest fears is that, by the time they come, I will not be
able to play with them in the ways my friend described. In my mind, I have
already been cheated out of that experience, and my own children are not even
married yet!
What has happened here? This is not my typical thinking any more, and hasn’t
been for a long time. I have worked hard at training my thoughts to feed
biblical fuel to my emotions. I am usually very quick to snatch those thoughts
that are circling the drain, out of the whirlpool before it’s too late. But
today, I was too slow. I allowed those old thinking patterns to have the rule
over my mind, instead of what I know are the right, biblical, God-honoring
thoughts. Why did I do this? Do I enjoy feeling sad, or do I long for despair?
Did I just need a good cry to “vent out” all my feelings? How did I get here?
As I pondered these questions, 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to my mind:
“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times
that it might depart from me. And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient
for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness...’”
That last word echoed in my mind and heart. Weakness.
Vulnerability. I recognized myself in that moment. I had become so tired, both
physically and emotionally, that I’d let my guard down. Now I was thinking I
shouldn’t be a counselor, and maybe I’m not even really a Christian. How can I
ever counsel anyone when I am so quick to give in to despair and hopelessness?
How can I be a Christian if all it takes is one weekend away from home to make
me forget the goodness and love of God?
In that moment, I realized that it is just that—the goodness
and love of God—that was making me aware of the nature of my thoughts. Had the
Spirit of God not intervened, I would have continued to spiral downward in my
thinking, and I certainly wouldn't be writing this post right now. This is why and how
His grace is sufficient: It is sufficient to sustain my faith through any kind
or amount of pain, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. It is sufficient
to keep me serving Him in whatever He calls me to do. And it is sufficient to
bring my thinking back into line with His.
So what does His strength being made perfect look like, from
a practical standpoint? Does it mean that I will never give in to feelings of
sadness or despair? Does it mean He will enable me to fake a loving response to
my friends when they tell of how they are enjoying their health? No, I don’t
think so. I think it looks like the goodness and love of God coming to me at
just the right time: When I’m tired, when I’m weak, when pain levels are up; when I cannot depend on myself and my own strength to bail me out of the deep
waters of sadness; when I can’t snatch my own thoughts out of the circling
vortex of despair, He Himself will swoop down in His strength and catch them and me.
I often depend on the Amplified bible to clarify the
application of Scripture, and once again, it does not disappoint with this
verse. Here’s how it goes:
“But He said to me, My grace (My favor and
loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and
enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made
perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your]
weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and
infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes,
may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!”
I want to draw your attention especially to that last line. In my weakness,
the strength and power of Christ will pitch a tent over me and dwell upon me!
What a glorious picture of our Lord’s grace! Though we are weak, exposed, and
vulnerable, the Lord brings down his protective “tent” and dwells with us in
it, strengthening us and bringing us into His rest. Here, He reminds us through
His Word that we are not alone in our pain and weariness.
My dear friend, are you tired today? Weary of pain and weakness? Don't fret
about it, and don't let it cause you to doubt whether you are useful the Lord.
Remember this passage. Crawl into your “tent” with the Lord and His Word, and let
Him show you the sufficiency of His grace in your weakness. Stay there until
you are strengthened. And when you are once again full of His grace, love and power,
go find a tired sister and invite her to your campground. You will see that you
are able to do all that He calls you to do; that His grace is indeed
sufficient; and that your weakness has a purpose: To make His strength perfect,
and to show His love and goodness to others, not in spite of your weakness, but because of it. Hallelujah! What a Rescue! What a Savior!
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