What’s Your Pleasure?

 

I will praise the LORD with my whole heart,

In the assembly of the upright and in the congregation.

The works of the LORD are great,

Studied by all who have pleasure in them.

Psalm 111: 1-2

In what do you find pleasure? What makes you happy? What makes you feel joyful and free? Is it finding extra money in your bank account? A lower number than you expected on the scale? Perhaps it’s the weekend that makes you feel happy, or praise from your boss after an especially difficult project. These things are all good, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling happy about them. But today, I’d like to suggest a different approach to finding happiness, and it comes from these two little verses in Psalm 111.

These verses caught my eye in my quiet time this morning, because of that last line: “Studied by all who have pleasure in them.” Having done my time in school, I can’t really say that I’ve used the words, studied and pleasure in the same sentence too many times! I do appreciate studying because I like to learn new things, but pleasure to me is more indicative of recreation or relaxation, not the diligent work of learning that studying is.

Yet, the Lord says that those of who take pleasure in His works will study them. So, what are the works of the Lord? Well, this word is repeated a number of times in the Psalm. In verse three, we learn that his works are honorable and glorious. Verse four says they are to be remembered. Verse six tells us that the power of His works has been declared to His people.

But the really important clue about God’s works comes in verses seven through nine:

The works of His hands are verity and justice;

All His precepts are sure.

They stand fast forever and ever,

And are done in truth and uprightness.

He has sent redemption to His people;

He has commanded His covenant forever:

Holy and awesome is His name.

Truth and justice are God’s works! Think about that. In light of all the “fake news,” lies of our culture and the enemy, and even our own self-deception, God’s works are always true, and His precepts (or commandments) are always sure.  For all eternity, they will never fail, and they will never change. They will never be unfair, or partial to a particular people group. Always upright and true, God will remain absolutely unaltered and unquestionably pure and perfect.

I’d like to encourage you today to take some time to dwell on this truth. Truly take pleasure in the study of God’s unchanging perfection. In the midst of struggles with your bank account and the scale, your difficulties at work, or your dread of another Monday, take a moment just to think about God’s unchanging nature. He is always right, always true, always just. He will never change, even as your account balance, your job, and the seasons of your life surely will. These truths will bring you to that place of pleasure that I described in the beginning of this article. I can relax because I know that my sovereign, unchanging God, who redeemed His people (including me), will never change, will always do what is right, and will always be holy and awesome. Praise Him with your whole heart, and then go tell the whole congregation of the pleasure you’ve found in studying His works!

 

 

Our Cancer Journey, Part 12: Where We Go From Here

This is the final installment of a 12-part post, sharing our leukemia journey. If you're just joining us, you can start at Part One here.

The Right Timing

It has brought me great joy to write out our leukemia journey. It was a long time coming! Honestly, I’ve known for a while that I wanted to write about it, but I think it was just still too real, too raw, for me to be able to write objectively about what happened. Of course, all experience is subjective, but I think the perspective I developed in waiting til now before writing about it was helpful. I hope you have found it encouraging, and I hope you’ll pass it along, maybe to someone who is going through something similar, for their encouragement.

As I write this, my dear leukemia-surviving husband is suffering with Influenza B, and is quite miserable. Even just a few months ago, I think this illness would have sent me into a terrified panic attack. I can imagine all the what-if’s I’d be running through: What if his immune system can’t handle it? What if he develops pneumonia? What if I come down with it—who will take care of him? But, much to my joy, I had none of these thoughts. The Lord has been so faithful in caring for us throughout this entire journey that my trust in Him has become quite sufficient to keep me calm and unafraid.

Different Wife, Different Life
I am not the same wife I was before my husband got a life-threatening illness. The trial brought on by this deadly, aggressive cancer has taught me a lot about my faith and the God in whom I have placed it; and I thought I had been through some pretty tough stuff already! Surely my battle with chronic pain and all the limitations that come with it would have humbled me, would have deepened my faith and matured me. That is true, but this trial of seeing someone you love—on whom you have depended for most of your adult life—fall  victim to an aggressive, deadly disease? Well that is a trial on a “whole ‘notha level,” as they say.  

John has always been my go-to friend; my buffer in difficult situations; my safe place to go when life is scary. Experiencing the most frightening thing in my life so far, without his strong shoulder to lean on, has taught me much about myself and about God. I’ve learned that in some ways and seasons, I have made an idol of my husband. In seeking comfort, solace, and protection in him, I have become unaccustomed to seeking it in God. Of course, our spouses are to be a source of all these things, but they should never be the primary source of any of them. I’ve learned through this leukemia journey that God is my refuge and strength, my very present help in trouble.   

John’s illness gave me the opportunity to learn this dependence on God through experience. Though the trials in my life had prepared me to some degree for this one, I don’t think there’s any way we are ever truly ready for such a challenge. The Lord had given me many opportunities to learn this dependence on him through previous trials, but I believe that in my self-sufficiency, I had come through most of them without really disciplining myself to depend on Him. This time though, there was no choice.

Learning Submission Through Love
I can’t tell you how many nights I sat on my back porch after coming home from the hospital and just cried out to God for his mercy and help. I cried for John’s pain and suffering, and I cried for my loneliness and fear. I cried for the possibility that I might never bring him home, and I cried for the loss of life as we’d known it, even if I did. Those were gut-wrenching nights, exhausting but humbling. In the end they left me softer, more willing to be shaped and molded by my Creator God, and more eager to submit to his loving will.

I’ve learned more about submission over this past year and a half than at any other time in my Christian life. But what’s taught me about submission wasn’t the practice I got in submitting. It was the overwhelming, awe-inspiring, all-encompassing love of God. He showed me in countless ways throughout this awful ordeal how much he loved me. He comforted me in my pain; answered my husband’s prayers in ways that deepened his faith; provided for my every need, and heard my pitiful cries. But most of all, he came alongside me and walked me through it. This is the simple, beautiful, perfect love of God: He is near.

I sensed God’s presence with me in ways I had never experienced before. But the wonderful thing is that this closeness, this intimacy with the Lord has remained with me as this illness falls further into the rear view. My God is my own now. The God of the Bible, whom I studied diligently to know; the God of the counseling room, whose Word I studied to show myself a competent counselor; the God of the universe, who inspires awe and wonder every time I open my eyes: That God became my God over the course of these two years. A distant God I'd known intellectually became my sweet Friend and Counselor; my Abba; my Jesus.

What’s Next?
In just a few short months, Lord willing, we will have a final bone marrow biopsy, and the doctors will declare John “cured.” (There’s even a gong he gets to bang, and a certificate involved! I’ll pop back in here then with the update, and possibly a video of said gong-banging!)  The lessons I have learned on this journey will stick with me. I know this because those lessons were not self-taught or learned from others. They were seeds of assurance, planted by the One who can guarantee their growth and longevity. I’m not worried that I’ll lose this deep relationship we’ve developed, because I am not the one who sustains it. Jesus is the creator and sustainer of all things, including my relationship with him, and He will hold me fast. Hallelujah! What a Savior!