Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Our Cancer Journey, Part 11: Zooming In


Last time, I shared with you more of the ways God worked in our lives and in our hearts during the course of John’s treatment. He was so faithful and so good to us, I think I could probably get to “Part 100” of this blog series and still not list all the ways! Today, I’d like to narrow that bird’s eye view of God’s work in our process and share a bit about how our marriage was renewed along the way.

Answered Prayer
Like most Christian wives, I have prayed every day since our salvation for my husband’s spiritual growth. Neither of us knew the Lord when we met, and we were both saved after about 10 years of marriage. Being academically inclined, I dove in right away and learned all I could of the Scriptures and Christian doctrine. All along the way, I prayed that we both would have this desire to know our Creator better and when John got sick, I began to see the Lord taking hold of him as never before.

Though I was with John as much as I could be during his treatment, there was much of it that he had to endure alone. I was not present with him in the radiation machine, the many bone marrow biopsies, or the long nights of sick sleeplessness in the hospital. I believe these were the times the Lord’s presence encouraged and matured him.

“It Shouldn’t Work!”
There’s one story in particular that John loves to tell. After he developed a blood clot in the first picc line, they removed it and placed a temporary IV in his arm. It was only meant to be functional for a day or so, but they wanted to leave it in as long as it would function, just to postpone another insertion. The first day it worked just fine. The second day the nurse said, “It probably won’t work today, but we’ll give it a try.” It worked perfectly all day and night! The third day they said, “We probably will need to get this out today, but let’s check and see if it will work.” Again, no problems. The same thing happened the fourth day, as the techs kept saying, “This really shouldn’t still be working!” But each time they came to draw blood or hang meds, John was praying. He was so weary of the pain of his treatment, and he just wanted this one little blessing from the Lord, not to have to be stuck with needles yet again. He asked the Lord, before and during each attempt, to allow it to work one more time. God was gracious. He knew what John needed, and He generously provided.

Now this may not seem like a big deal, but for John it was just one of many faith-building providences. It deepened his love for the Lord and his trust in God's goodness. Not only were John’s prayers answered, but mine were too. My husband is a different man today than he was before he became ill. He is even more sensitive to my needs, more humble in our relationship, and quicker to see his own fault. These changes didn’t happen right away, but as time has passed and we’ve both gained perspective on what we’ve been through, we are seeing the changes the Lord has made in our relationship. There is a deeper connection than ever before between us, and between each of us and the Lord.

Grateful
If I had to choose one major change I’ve seen in our marriage as a result of John’s illness, I would say it is gratitude. Gratitude for each other, for our relationship, for our family. We don’t take each other for granted. We don’t get hung up on little things or petty differences, because we know something much more important: Life is fragile. The Lord gave us this marriage, and He can take it away at any time. We are both so thankful that He saw fit to let us keep our marriage, and to continue to grow in Him through it. We both love the Lord more deeply than before, and we treasure our relationship with Him and with each other.

And Even More Grateful
There was a couple we met one day at the clinic as we waited for our turn to see the doctor. Joe was the patient, and Jill was his caregiver. Though he had a different disease, Joe had had the same type of transplant as John, and after striking up a conversation we decided to exchange numbers and try to keep in touch. Jill was a sweet lady who texted me often and always had words of encouragement for me. I tried to encourage her too, though her husband suffered many more complications than mine and their journey was much more arduous. I was so grateful for her kindness and her interest in me and the challenges I faced. She was my “caregiver buddy” and her support was invaluable.

We kept in touch for over a year, and the last I’d heard her husband was doing well. One day, I texted to check in, and I received this reply: “Joe passed away last week. We buried him yesterday.” I can’t describe to you the shock and sorrow I felt upon reading that. In her last text, she'd said they were headed on a trip to visit family, and things were looking really positive. This news hit me hard. I struggled with whether to reach out to her, trying to put myself in her place. Having just lost her husband, would she want to hear from me? I did respond to her text, but never heard back from her. My heart still aches when I think about it, and John and I still pray for her nearly every night. This was another providential event that deepened my gratitude to God and my love for my husband.

My dear reading friend, who in your life do you treasure? Who do you love and value? Who has God blessed you with in your life? I’d like to urge you right now to tell that individual how much you love them, and how much of a blessing they are to you. Tell God how thankful you are for that person, and how grateful you are that He allowed you to have them in your life. We are not promised tomorrow, and none of us knows when the Lord will ordain the end of that relationship. Now is the time to reach out, both to God and to your loved ones, to express your love and gratitude.


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