Looking For Encouragement?

I’ve been preparing lately for a workshop I’m going to give at a BiblicalCounseling Conference in my area. As I am making my notes, I am planning to offer a disclaimer right at the start, and it’s going to go something like this:

“Most of you in this room are far more experienced counselors than I am, and could probably teach me much more about biblical counseling than I can teach you.  But I do believe that I have something to offer in the area I’m going to talk about, because of the many years of experience I have with it.  I’m going to talk today about self-pity, and my journey to break free of the bondage of feeling sorry for myself. I hope to offer a counselee’s perspective on this kind of thinking. What I have to offer is not a new technique, but a personal testimony of the work that Christ has done in my heart, and the people and things he’s used along the way.”

As I’ve been preparing for this talk, I keep going back to the books God used as sort of rungs of a ladder, if you will, as I climbed out of that sinkhole of self-pity. If you struggle with your thinking as you endure your physical affliction, then I know that any one of these titles would be an encouragement to you. Here are just a few of the books that have helped me. I hope they might do the same for you.

God’s Healing forLife’s Losses, by Bob Kelleman

This little book is just over 100 pages, but it packs a great deal of truth, compassion and encouragement in that small space. It is somewhat of a journaling book, in that it includes several “grief and growth workbooks,” with questions for the reader to answer. By the time I’d finished this book, I’d written over 40 tear-stained pages as I poured out my heart to the Lord. Kelleman has a way of blending truth with compassion in a way that produces repentance and relief for the sufferer. This book taught me that it is perfectly acceptable to God that I am grieving the loss that I suffered. It challenged me to see my loss as a type of death, and to grieve it biblically. My biggest takeaway from this book was that there are many “deaths” in this life besides the final one, and that it is right to grieve them. Reading and journaling through this book helped me stop stuffing my sadness and denying the pain I felt, so that I could look at it clearly through the lens of Scripture, grieve it rightly, and think about it biblically.

Pain: The Gift NobodyWants, by Dr. Paul Brand with Philip Yancey

This is a book that I read with the book group that I attend weekly. It is the story of a surgeon who worked among the Lepers in India. I hadn’t known this before, but true leprosy is characterized by a gradual loss of sensation in the extremities. The basic premise of the book is that pain, though it is often seen as the enemy, is really a friend to us. It signals that something is wrong, so that it can be addressed. Sadly, Brand acknowledges, with some kinds of pain, there is no solution. Woven in among stories of leprous patients and other pain narratives is information about how the mind perceives pain, and helpful modalities for minimizing pain without medication. I have put some of these things into practice, and have found them to be quite helpful. This is a book that is inspiring, but not necessarily inspired. There is not a lot of doctrinal content, but the overall tone is quite encouraging, and the selfless and loving way that Dr. Brand offers his skill to his patients taught me much about how to offer compassion when the pain can’t be stopped.

The Attributes of God, by AW Pink 

This book is, of course, not about pain, but about the sovereign, good, loving, merciful, patient God who has ordained it. This book, more than any other, solidified for me who God is. This is the book that convinced me of my favorite (though unoriginal) saying: “God is God, and He is who He says He is, regardless of my circumstances.” One of the key questions my biblical counselor asked me was, “How would God be different if your surgery had gone as planned?” Though I wanted to answer, “If God had done things my way, then he would be good and merciful,” I knew that was not right. This book firmly planted my view of God in Scripture, and it has become deeply rooted as I routinely review the attributes of God with my counselees, to help them line up their view of God with Scripture, not their circumstances. (This one is also available in PDF format, free of charge, here.

Pain: The Plight ofFallen Man, by Dr. James Halla

Dr. Halla is a rheumatologist who is also an ACBC certified biblical counselor. The information on the back cover says that it is a book on pain management from a Christian perspective, and that’s true. But it is more than that. What I got from reading this book is a great deal of help with how to think about my pain. The beginning part of the book gets into facts about the anatomy of pain, and is quite technical yet written in a way that a lay person can understand it. After laying that foundation, Dr. Halla talks about how our thinking either magnifies or shrinks our pain. I have found this to be very true as I have worked on thinking biblically about my pain. I know for a fact that I have the ability to make my pain better or worse, just by how I think about it, and this light dawned for me as I read this book. It is packed with facts, information, and encouragement that will change the way you think about your suffering, always directing those thoughts through a biblical filter. This book was another turning point for me in my thinking.

There are many other books and articles I’ve read that helped to change my perspective. Almost any book by Joni Earickson Tada will convict and encourage your heart. Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure, by D. Martin Lloyd-Jones will help you to turn around the sadness and despair that often accompany chronic pain and disability. Surrender, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss is another very short book that is long on encouragement, and will help you to release your desire to control your circumstances into the hands of the loving God who ordained them.

Do you have a book or author that has been especially encouraging to you? If so, will you share it in the comments below? One thing I have always wanted this blog to be about is mutual encouragement among sufferers. Let’s share together the things that have helped us!

My Strong Weakness

As, therefore, God’s picked representatives, purified and beloved, put on that nature which is merciful in action, kindly in heart, and humble in mind. Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. And, above everything else, be truly loving, for love binds all the virtues together in perfection. (Colossians 3:12-14, JB Phillips Paraphrase)

I have really been enjoying reading through the New Testament in the JB Phillips paraphrase. I love the way he words some of my favorite passages in a way that helps me to better understand what they mean. The above passage is no exception. I got such joy from reading it that I wanted to share it with you, and tell you how it spoke to my heart in this season when the pain I experience is more intense and limiting.

First of all, this passage tells me that, regardless of how physically able I am, God still picked me to be His representative. So, that means that I can honor and glorify God even if I can’t leave my bed! I am able to fulfill my God-given purpose, which is to glorify Him (Is 43:7) regardless of my physical condition, and this encourages me to persevere. Since I have been purified, and because He loves me, I can be merciful, kind and humble. I don’t have to give in to irritability and the tendency to be short-tempered when I am hurting. He has given me a new nature so I can overcome these things.

As I accept what is happening, the patience and tolerance that follows will make my relationships more peaceful. Because I have been freely and fully forgiven, I can practice that same forgiveness with others, even when I am in pain. I don’t have to be unhappy or discontented. I am loved by God, and He has enabled me to love Him and others. As I love God and others, those virtues of patience and tolerance that are available to me will flow into and out of my heart, because of the perfection that He conveys on me.

The best thing about all of this is that these qualities and actions of God enable me to join with Him in making something good out of my pain. As Joseph said in Genesis 50, though spiritual forces of evil would try to use our pain in their favor, God intends for our pain to do us good. I believe that our enemy knows about our pain, and is crouching at the door, waiting for us to give in to the impatience, irritability, and strained relationships that can come so easily when we are hurting. But God has ordained this pain for me, and he has also chosen me before the foundation of the world to be His!

So, as I am determined to represent Him well, I gain strength for the battle against my flesh. I put on that nature which is “merciful in action, kindly in heart and humble in mind,” and I wear it into the battle. It is my joy to remember that physical strength is not what is needed in this particular war . Spiritual strength is what is needed here, and the very weakness that would disqualify me for a physical battle is the key to my spiritual strength!

So, for the most important battles of my life—the ones that involve my relationship with God and with the people that I love—I am fully equipped. Second Peter 1:3 tells me that I have everything that I will ever need for life and godliness, so I can be sure that no circumstantial limitation will ever change that. Only the One True God could orchestrate such a mercy. He makes all things work together in such a way that even on our most painful and difficult days, when we feel old, wretched and useless, what we really are is brand new, purified, and chosen! Hallelujah! What a Reality! What a Savior!

Fear of the Unknown

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression,

But a good word makes it glad.

Proverbs 12:25

I’m so glad that this verse is in the Bible! I have always believed that there is a link between anxiety and depression, and who better than our all-wise and loving God to provide this verification? Those of us who suffer with chronic pain or other health issues are all too aware of this link. While it is true that anxiety in general, about almost anything, can lead to depression, there is a unique kind of link between the two when that anxiety is about our physical bodies.

Think about the last time you experienced a new or unfamiliar symptom. If you were already struggling with the “normal” pain and disability to which you'd become accustomed, then this new pain or problem probably struck fear or panic in your mind. Maybe it went something like this: “Oh, no! What could that be? Is this my disease process ramping up? Am I going to have yet another source of pain to deal with? How will I cope? How will this new thing affect the other things I’m dealing with?” The questions and worries come faster than you can address them, and soon anxiety is in full swing and depression is close behind.

But does it really have to be this way? Well, that depends on what your peace is planted in. If you believe that you can have peace only when there are no unknown or unexpected problems, then peace will be elusive during these times. However, if your peace is rooted and grounded in the all-sufficient grace of Christ, then it is not going to be shaken no matter what symptoms pop up, or what test results change.

Many Bible scholars believe that the thorn in the flesh, of which Paul speaks in 2 Corinthians 12, was a physical ailment. I think so, too. Paul says that He asked the Lord three times to take it away. I have prayed this prayer many times myself, and it is usually when my pain is particularly bad or something new pops up. Perhaps the apostle was in a similar place each of the three times he asked for relief. I can imagine Paul struggling with a recurrence  of malaria, or perhaps worsening eyesight, and pleading with the Lord to take it away.  

Implied in God’s answer are Paul’s unspoken fears: “How will I cope? How will I continue this ministry if my body won’t cooperate? How will I serve and glorify God if I can’t physically do the things I need to do?” God’s answer, if I may paraphrase: “By my grace you will do all that I’ve called you to do. By My grace you will be able to endure the pain. By My grace you will encourage, love, and lead the churches. By My grace you will preach the Gospel and reach the lost. Because My grace is sufficient. Your weakness makes My strength perfect: Perfect for your need. Perfect for those you are ministering to. Perfect for My glory.”

God is calling Paul to take his thoughts away from the thorn in his flesh and put them on God. This is our solution too, my friend. When new pain, worsening symptoms, or frightening diagnoses come, we must respond as Paul did: Ask the Lord for healing. If the answer is no, then trust in His grace to strengthen you in your weakness. It was indeed sufficient for Paul, as you will see if you read the rest of the New Testament. 

It is also sufficient for you. The key is to take your mind off of yourself and your pain, and put it on God. Trust Him to give you the strength to fulfill your God-given responsibilities, whether those involve ministry in the body of Christ or making dinner for your family. Whatever He has called you to do, whatever pain He allows, His grace is sufficient for you. This good word will make your heart glad, and the anxiety that was trying to weigh it down will lift as find your peace firmly rooted in the all-sufficient grace of God. Hallelujah! What a Sustainer! What a Savior!

Have You Forgotten?

And the LORD said, “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.” (Exodus 3:7)

As I mentioned in my last post, I open my Bible each day seeking encouragement and I always find it, no matter where I am reading. So today, I thought I would share with you one example of that. I decided to read the Bible chronologically this year, and right now I’m in Exodus. In chapter 3, there is a little verse that I must have passed over many times, but today it really jumped out at me. It’s the quote at the top of this post. What made me pause was that last phrase, “I know their sorrows.” This immediately brought to my mind Isaiah 53:3, which says,

He is despised and rejected by men,

A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;

He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

A Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief—That is who our Savior is. So, why do we hide from Him? Why do we esteem Him so little that we don’t turn to Him in our sorrow, but like the Israelites, we turn away from Him and toward ourselves and other gods?

Well, I believe our reason is the same as theirs. If you read a little further, at the end of chapter 4, you’ll see that the Israelites did bow down and worship when Aaron demonstrated the signs in their sight. When they saw with their own eyes a demonstration of God’s power, then they believed that He had looked on their affliction and would help them.

But wouldn’t you know, by chapter 6, they no longer believe Him. Look with me at Exodus 6:9.

…but they did not heed Moses because of anguish of spirit and cruel bondage.

Anguish of spirit and cruel bondage: Translation? Feelings and circumstances. No doubt, the Israelites were in a tough place: Slavery under cruel taskmasters. But what about the signs? Didn’t they remember the signs Moses had shown them—a rod turned to a snake and back again, Moses’ leprous hand healed—that had caused them to believe back in chapter 4? Apparently they’d forgotten all that, and were now focused on their circumstances and their feelings. God no longer seemed to be proving Himself faithful in their eyes, so that meant He could not be trusted.

Does this sound familiar to you, dear reader? Do you remember a time when God seemed to be doing amazing things in your life, and your faith was growing? What happened between that time and now? Were you basing your faith on what you could see, or on what the Bible says? It is so easy to become focused on circumstances, and to begin to obey our feelings about those circumstances, isn’t it? As I read this account today, I wanted to shout at those Israelites, “Hey, what about the miracles? What about the signs? Come on! Trust God, and stop walking by sight!”

Of course, all this shouting in my head eventually gets directed at myself, and now at you! How ‘bout it, my sister friend? Are you basing your faith on what’s going on around you, and your feelings about that? Do you worship and praise God on the good days, but seem to lose faith on the bad ones? Maybe it’s been so long since you’ve had a good day, you don’t remember what you did with them! 

Pain is indeed a cruel taskmaster, and being unable to do the things you want to do can definitely bring about anguish of spirit. But you and I must remember that neither of those things is to be the basis of our faith. Our faith is in the God who tells us in Exodus 3, “I AM WHO I AM.” God is God, and He is who He says He is,  regardless of our pain, disability, or any other circumstance. He is faithful, and He can be trusted.

So we press on through pain, suffering, or any other circumstances, because we have a singular goal:

…that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Phil. 3:10-11) 

The key to steady faith, even in cruel bondage and anguish of spirit, is to fix our eyes on this goal, trusting in the One whose grace is sufficient to get us there. Hallelujah! What an Encourager! What a Savior!

                                                                                                      

Plan to be Encouraged

This time of year, lots of websites are offering Bible reading plans. Three chapters a day, chronological, book by book, read through in 3, 6, or 12 months, the options are plenty. We know we want to be reading every day, but if we’re honest, it can be hard to keep it up after the first couple of weeks of January. I have stumbled upon a method for making sure I read every day, and I thought I would share it with you today.

I used to use a check-box type plan, and I read through the Bible every year. But then, as my God-ordained physical trial began, I became very thirsty for more encouragement and hope from the Word. It was no longer enough just to check off the boxes, maybe gleaning a nugget of truth or encouragement, then moving on. Now, I was desperate for help and hope.

So, I developed a habit of reading until I found encouragement, and that is what I still do today. Each morning, I sit down with God and my coffee, and I ask Him to reveal to me from His Word the encouragement He has planned for me. He has never let me down, I have never run out of time, and I’ve never had to miss or be late for anything I had planned for the day. When I find that verse or passage that seems to jump off the page, I write it down. But I don’t write it down just anywhere. I have a wonderful planner that I began ordering from Joni and Friends a few years ago. It has large blank spaces for each day, and this is where I write my encouraging verses. (See the pictures below.)

Each year, I fill my planner with encouraging Scriptures, and this serves a double purpose: Writing out the Scriptures helps to cement them in my mind, and later, when I really need a pick-me-up, I have hundreds of verses to choose from! Plus, Joni’s planner also has some devotional materials and encouragement to read along the way. A third bonus—My purchase helps to support Joni’s ministry, and what better place for my money than an organization that helps people with disabilities!

   

Whether you buy this particular planner or not, I think you will find this Bible reading method helpful and rewarding. There is nothing in the Bible that commands you to read through it at any particular pace or in any particular order. What God’s Word does command us to do is seek wisdom, encouragement, and guidance from it. With that in mind, I hope you will dig into the Scriptures every day this year, and do it with the expectation that you will receive exactly what you need!

    

 

Exciting News!

Well, here we are a couple of weeks into 2016 already! It seems that each year passes faster than the one before, doesn’t it? As I look back over 2015, I have to say it was a good year! My counseling caseload has grown significantly, and I sense every day, and with every session, that this is my calling from the Lord. I am so privileged to be allowed to speak His truth into the lives of women every day, and I count it a great blessing that I get to do it!

Another great privilege the Lord has seen fit to give me is the ability reach out, through this blog, to others who are suffering with chronic pain and physical challenges. I have heard from many of you, and it is a great comfort to me to know that I am not the only one who wrestles with God over physical pain and loss. As you tell me of the encouragement you get from the blog, my own suffering is redeemed, and I see the good fruit that has come from my painful circumstance. Whenever I know that my words have been an encouragement, my pain is more bearable and my disappointments lose their sting.

And now, I have something new to be grateful for! My friend and mentor Julie Ganschow, whose blog, Biblical Counseling for Women has been encouraging readers for nearly a decade, has invited me to be a regular contributor! I will be posting every week over at Biblical Counseling for Women. Those articles will be a little different from what I write here. They will be geared more toward the issues for which women typically come for counseling, as well as general principles of biblical thinking and response in all kinds of circumstances. I hope you’ll stop by and read what I post there, as well as the thoughts and counsel of the other contributors.

I’m very excited to be a part of this new blog, but my passion is still to help and encourage those who struggle with physical pain and limitations so I still intend to post here, at least as frequently as I have been. As this New Year begins, I am beyond excited to have so many opportunities to share the Word of God.  I can’t imagine why God would give such a broken vessel such an amazing honor, but I guess that is just who He is. He uses weak people to show His strength, and He uses broken vessels to hold vast treasure. Hallelujah! What a Giver! What a Savior! 

Mourning To Dancing

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

Well, Christmas is over and New Year’s Eve is behind us. My husband and I don’t typically go out on New Year’s Eve, but the celebration of a New Year brings dancing to mind, at least for me. There was a time when I loved to dance. In fact, I met my husband when I asked him to dance at a club over thirty years ago! This year, as I thought of this celebration and my mind wandered back to parties and celebrations in years past, I remembered the fun we used to have dancing, and at least for a moment felt somewhat wistful. It is highly unlikely that we will boogie like that again, and this fact has the potential to make me feel sad.

But wait…Can it really make me feel sad? No, it cannot! If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that the truth about our feelings is that we choose them. So, let’s use this as an example for how to think and act biblically about situations that could potentially bring on a sinful response. As I look at this dancing thing, there are a few options: I could go ahead and dance, but it would probably result in a lot of pain for a lot of days after. That’s not a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I could skip all celebrations where people are dancing, avoiding the temptation to feel jealous or sad about my condition. That’s not an option either, because I have a desire to go to the celebrations, and to be with the people I love. Besides, if I stayed home from everything that could bring up sinful thoughts, I would never leave the house. That’s true for all of us!

No, the answer here is not to stay home, or to inflict needless pain on myself. The answer is to change my focus to a different kind of dancing. If you haven’t already, read the Scripture that I quoted at the top of this article. It says that the Lord has turned my mourning into dancing. That means He has turned my sadness into celebration! Way back in those days when I was partying and dancing the night away, my heart was dark and lost. I was a lonely, sad individual who desperately needed Christ, but didn’t know it. Though I would have appeared to be a happy person to those who saw me grooving to those tunes, inside was a hopeless despair that I thought would never go away.

Fast forward to today, and though I am no longer dancing, I am a happy follower of Christ, who is striving toward contentment in Him. He also graciously saved my husband, and today we are working to glorify God as we love one another and serve the Body of Christ. If you looked at this timeline from a worldly perspective, where physical comfort and capability are the goal, you might say that my life has turned from dancing to mourning. And, if I obeyed my feelings, you might be right. But, praise be to God, He has turned my thinking upside down, so I no longer crave those physical privileges, but desire more than anything to bring Him glory regardless of (and sometimes because of) my physical condition.

He has indeed turned my mournful heart to one that dances in celebration of the grace and love He has so generously poured out on me. Whatever he has seen fit to take from me in physical strength, He has more than replaced with sweet fellowship with Him. As I think these thoughts, I am not sad, but glad! I would not trade one moment of the fellowship I have with Christ and His body for many hours of dancing with that dark, lost heart that I had back then. I’d like to challenge you today, my sister-friend, to examine your thinking about the temptations of your heart, how they are triggered, and how you can think differently about them. I know that my God will supply new thinking. After all, He is the Creator of all things. He can surely create new thoughts, new responses, and new attitudes in your heart. Hallelujah! What a Creator! What a Savior!