Do you ever get concerned, as you live day to day with your
pain or disability, about what people may think of you when you can’t do the
things they can do? Maybe you have family members who have unrealistic
expectations of the things you can all do together. Maybe you have a coworker
who is resentful because he or she sometimes has to take up the slack for you,
or put in more hours than you. Perhaps no one has said anything to you, but in
your own mind you worry about what they think of you. Do they think I’m being
wimpy? Are they whispering about how needy I am, or that I should toughen up?
If you’ve dealt with a chronic physical problem for any
length of time, and you’re honest, you will admit that these things have crossed
your mind. So, what are we to do when these worries plague us, or we feel bad
because of them? Well, I think the first thing we need to do is really examine
ourselves. Ask yourself: Could I indeed do more than I am doing? Am I using my
condition as an excuse to be lazy? Am I seeking attention or special treatment?
Do I just want to get out of my responsibilities, or is my need legitimate? Be
honest. The Lord knows your weakness, and He is ready to forgive. If you have
needlessly and selfishly burdened someone, you must confess, repent, and change.
But if, after careful self-examination (and maybe even a
chat with an accountability partner), you find that you have not sinned in this
area, then you must deal with your fear of man. What the world calls peer
pressure, low self-confidence, and people-pleasing, the Bible calls fear of
man. God’s Word has much to say about this subject. Proverbs 29:25 in the New
Living Translation says, “Fear of people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the
LORD means safety.” The way this is worded tells me that these things—fearing
people and trusting the LORD—are opposites. If I am concerned about what people
think of me, I will become consumed with trying to please them, and I will lose
sight of the purpose for which I was created. Isaiah 43:7 tells me that I was
created to glorify God. How can I do that if I’m seeking to please people?
So, how do we get past these fears as we try to make
decisions about whether to commit to things we’re not certain we can do, or whether
to bow out of a commitment on a really bad day? The first step is to pray. Ask
the Lord for wisdom and guidance as you work through your decision. Ask Him to
restrain you from fear of man in the situation, and to help you think clearly,
just about the situation, not the response of the people involved. Ask Him to
show you how you can best glorify Him in it.
If, after prayerful consideration, you decide that you are
not able to do what’s being asked of you, then you must be honest. Going and
doing it anyway may cause a setback that could require a longer period of rest
down the road. Do you know your limits? Then you must respect them, regardless
of what others may think. Remember to ask yourself who put the limits in place.
It is God who has ordained your pain or disability, for your good and His
glory. Why should you continue to press on beyond the limits He has set? What can man do
to you? Psalm 118:6 says, “The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can
mere people do to me?” Your top priority and main concern must be what God
thinks of you. After all, He set the limits of the oceans! Job 38:8-11 says,
“Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the
womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness?
For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores.
I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come.
Here your proud waves must stop!’”
Our God is the setter of all limits, from the greatest ocean
to the most disabled individuals. The last line of this passage brings me to my
final point. Is it your pride that makes you want to push your limits beyond
what you know you can handle? This is tied in with fear of man too, but pride has
its own ugly head that it likes to raise in these situations. Our pride can make
us want to do as much as others who are more physically able than we are. It
makes us embarrassed to have to say, “No, I can’t do that.” We are ashamed of
our weakness, and we don’t want to admit it. But we must remember once again,
when these feelings come on, that it is God who set the limits, not these individuals. What God has
deemed perfect for us has nothing to do with anyone else. Each of us is
accountable to God for our choices. Romans 14:4 says to those who may judge us:
“Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? Their own
master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord's help, they
will stand and receive His approval.”
If we are doing our best, and are sincerely able to work and
do only within the limits that God has set for us, we can be free of
condemnation, embarrassment, or shame. We may have to wrestle with our
submission to the limits God has placed on us, but when we get to that point of
joyful obedience and willingness to embrace our condition, God will bring us
through it in triumph.
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in
triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in
every place.—2 Corinthians 2:14
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